Semantics: Revisit

I don't often write directly what's on my mind. Nor am I understood properly when I do.

I don't believe I'll attempt to start now.

 Someone recently asked me about regret, i.e., did I regret anything. I told the truth and lied and said yes.

 Before: A non-existent idea or a capitulation towards a passive rather than a proactive approach to life.

 Now: : Given the chance, one might make a different decision. This idea is complicated by the clarity of hindsight.

 Redundant thought: Had you acted differently, you wouldn't have known to act differently. Knowing what you now know might suggest that you 'should' have acted differently.

 So, really, there's no more space between the definitions than there is what defines the end and beginning of the space between two objects, two individuals, two ideas.

 It's like having an argument over whether someone can truly empathize with another.

Off the meds

"So here we are... Where are we?" What if community is wherever you are? What if community extends beyond time/space? What if community is internal? What is the acceptable price? No one ever told me.

On that synchronous loop

Sometimes, strange. So, something (rather a collection of things) I've ignored for almost 10 years now were cajoled out of the darkness in some serendipitous showing. While it doesn't completely jive with a few belief sets (some possibly too binary), I think I'll take the ride.

Yay

I'm free and am off again.

A tangent from the normal

"It’s actually necessary that America have a network reality show that pairs big, muscular soldiers with adoring D-list celebrities — hosted by a former Army General along with someone who used to be on Dancing with the Stars – as they play sanitized war games for the amusement of viewers, all in between commercials from the nation’s largest corporations. That’s way too perfect of a symbol of American culture and politics for us not to have."

- Glenn Greenwald

MD again

A salute and farewell to dichotomic placeholders, but not to hope.

A negation of optimism and pessimism, but not to idealist cynicism.

A refusal of acquiescence to the docile, the stagnant, the morally apathetic, the anti-intellectual.

a good month

So There

the rare and the ugly

So it goes...

End of Fall / Here / Not For Me

Yesterday:

Today:

Tomorrow:

Supposedly will be in the area of the World's Greatest Fall Festival

On Timing

So I got the best of summer for once.

I'm getting the best of fall. And hoping to extend it for a few weeks somewhere else.

Not to say that I didn't have my terribly cold/hot days or rain/ice/humid days, but all in all...

For once, timing is actually correct. How long has that been? 3 years?

There exists some sort of catharsis there. I've learned to embrace the memories contained in smells.

I've learned to let myself be happy. How long has that been? 15 years?

My misanthropy aside, I'll let go what I need to. All of it if necessary.

Summer Home

No complaints.

Really? - Bested

Seriously, last flight:

Gate Manager at Orlando(CA) airport:

"At this time all connections seem fine right now, as all places heading to Denver are on hold, you know, because of the old in and out."

As a side note, saute mushrooms in bacon grease and have a better day.

Really?

On a flight recently, the captain says:

"ATC has warned us of intermittent storms. We will do our best to keep the seatbelt sign off during the flight. However, if you would like to plan your movements around these interruptions, it would be appreciated."

Yay.

It's All Right

It's True. Arbitrary definitions and goals are much more fun than tangibles. It's the irrational that makes sense, and that is a good thing.

Here's to only 3 states left before I get home (~5 or so since leaving last, 3 roller derby matches, apparently trapeze in the future). Yay.

Sometimes

There's no place I'd rather be.

What I've Truly Missed

Really, it was far too long. Excuses are pointless in hindsight. It's funny how life makes you forget about your life sometimes. Also, it's amazing and wonderful even when it's not. We'll shortly return to paying odds, but let's get to something else first:

We had first tried to get into the Maze 8 years ago. I was planning on smuggling in Mr. Murph, and was equipped with 2 tire cables, a stock suspension and ignorance.

While we got in later that year, the current trip validates the decision not to try the descent back then. (Trouble found us regardless both times, but those are separate stories)

So down we went to the most remote area of the contiguous 48.
(And we were apparently the first back up this year).
The truck finally earned a name.
(Contact me if curious)





Much has changed since I was last in this area. I suppose that if you had the inclination, you could update your Facebook profile to let people know that you're staying out of touch with and disappearing from everyone. So it goes.

So I finally made it to the Fins, the area that I used to daydream about when the taped topographic maps of the Maze district were hanging on my wall in Santa Cruz.

Returning to the neglected life is a good thing.
While I suppose it was there and back again, it feels more like a through-hike.
I could write more, but other pics are lurking somewhere around here...

Paying Odds

Well, we'll get to this after Utah. It's been far too long.